Saving Master Apoc: Part 1 (Becca)

Today, I received a muffled message from Erifia. It came over a mailing system, and it was a fuzzy picture with broken speech, I honestly don’t know what she was trying to say…

“Becca, Please (Muffle) been captured (muffle) Keep Tatooine Safe. Tell (muffle) to (muffle muffle muffle scream of pain)” –End Transmission

I don’t know what any of that meant. I think I heard a Keep Tatooine safe. But I don’t know. It’s all so complicated. Tatooine ran out of the back when he heard his mother’s voice, and he leapt around.

“Where’s mommy Auntie Becca?!” He asked.

“I don’t know… Here’s the message, maybe you can make head or tales of the whole thing.”

I replayed it for him. He shook his head back and fourth, “Mommy’s in trouble. Look, Auntie Becca, bring up the source, and double check the IP address and then type the IP address into the republic’s master computer search, and find the outlying computer, through triangulation of the signals, and see what planet and city she is in.”

I haven’t felt this confused by techno-babble since that time I was on Myth Busters…
Flashback



“Okay, so to help us determine whether a light we have Becca Magnificant, Erifia Apoc’s sidekick. We’ve got a special show today, we are testing the myth of the Lightsaber.”

“I don’t know, guys…”

“Look,” said Adam, “It’s very inconceivable. The fact is that though photons of light may indeed have some power they cannot on their own, even when concentrated into a shaft, and pressed together, just can’t cut through anything.”

“Yeah,” said Jamie, “The energy source can’t be powerful enough to hold that charge for too long. Look, the energy would be drained by the capacitor and the fact is without something to hold it in, the photons would bounce wildly about the room.”

“I don’t know, guys…”

“Look! Becca, Jamie and I are going to have a contest to see who can build a better light saber, okay?”

I decided that of all the stuff I don’t know, I know one thing. Jedi can only build sabers. I backed out of the room slowly. After a couple of days, I came back, and they were about ready to test their designs. The first one, made by Adam sent a beam of rays into their dummy, Buster. He was on fire, and they had to put him out. Jamie’s exploded. I sighed.

Terrible.

End Flashback

So I did as Tatooine said, but he had to talk me through ever step. I didn’t have a Republic Username and Password, so I had to make one. And then I had enter my social security number, which I don’t know.

I then did the rest of what Tatooine said, and the message came from Geonosis.

“Tatooine,” I said, “I don’t know where that is.”

-Becca the Magnificant

Ps. 7