Sunday, September 17, 2006

A Late Night Call, A Plea for Help: Part 3

(See my Savior)
(See from before...)

"I loved him..." I said feeling comfort still from him patting my lekku, which wiggled a little everytime he did, "I loved him... He helped me so much when I was a padawan... He stopped Aayla from beating on me... and he did what you are doing now... Will you beat him up?"

I wrapped my arms around him and squeezed him tightly again. He made me feel safe... He made things clear...

“Sure,” he said, “Ill beat him up for you. Of course he’ll probably cheat and decapitate me. If he does my mom will be very unhappy. Maybe Jardena too…”

“So you’ve known Obi-Wan since you were little?” he said, “If you’ve been friends that long, maybe you should give him another chance? He may not have meant to hurt your feelings… Maybe you… Surprised him with your admission about how you felt?”

Each word he spoke further I began to cry more. I didn’t want to think about Obi-Wan. By the end I was so deep in tears, I could scarcely hear him.

“Dante…” I cried, “Why do I have to feel and everyone else not?” I squeezed him around the waist, and tried to push myself to his shoulder, where I rested my head, and my lekkus dropped down over his back.

I wanted him to wrap his arms around my shoulders, and hold me tight, tell me, ‘Everything is going to be okay…’

“Dante… I’m scared without love I’m going to become a sith… I needed him to love me back… I need love…” I began to cry again… My lekkus wiggled. They hadn’t done that for a long time… They wanted me to dance…I fought the urge, as tears rolled down my cheek.

He pushed me away… He pulled away from the embrace that was keeping me sane. He pulled back from my anchor to reality…

“You’re not going to become a sith,” he said almost in an ordering tone, “I can’t tell you about Jedi stuff, or the dark side, or any of that, but I can tell you something about the nature of men and women. You might think that you need Obi-Wan because you’re having a crisis, but you’re stronger than that. You don’t need him for anything, much less love.”

He took a deep breath… And he looked down into my eyes. I knew he wouldn’t… I couldn’t ask him to. He was Oneida’s. But I wanted him to kiss me… Even if I knew it was wrong… It was how shattered my heart was.

“You must have female friends, right?” He asked, “Other Jedi who could help you with the things you’re experiencing and keep your privacy?”

If you’ll excuse me, I have to fight my primitive urges for love,

Wanting Hugs, and Lacking Kisses,
Erifia Apoc


Blogger Jean-Luc Picard said...

Have a little cry, and you'll be alright tomorrow.

7:15 AM  
Blogger Darth Nepharia said...

No, have a great big cry, and things will be tolerable in the morning. Then come see me, I do love our little chats.

11:58 AM  
Blogger Skywalker said...

Listen, you just need someone to make you feel alive, and it's not Obi-Wan.

12:41 PM  
Blogger Dark Jedi Kriss said...

*points up* For once a sensible comment from Ani. (I kid) But he is right.

12:54 PM  
Blogger Onslaught said...



2:51 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

So this is how you spend time away from the temple..

7:15 PM  
Blogger Darth Inferna said...

Yeah, listen to Onslaught. He knows what he is talking about. Hug me. Take me, and make me into you.

7:18 PM  
Blogger Barriss Offee said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

7:18 PM  
Blogger Barriss Offee said...

Erifia, I'd help you if I could.. but you won't come to me.

7:19 PM  

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