Development of a Philosophy: Part 3 (Erifia Apoc)

I’ve never killed anyone. I want everyone who reads these journals to know that. Not once in my life have I killed a sentient being. I think I shocked Obi-Wan when I told him that. Now, I will not deny my killing of droids, which I believe is very different then killing a sentient being.

However, I will also admit to killing animals and beasts which are sentient, but never a true sentient being, not even Genosians when they attack me. I usually cripple them, and leave them. I’ll cut off their wings, and arms. But leave them be. As inhumane as that sounds.

I have never enjoyed the code, not for a long, long time. I find it in bad taste. But one part of the code I uphold is the ‘No Killing’ rule. We Jedi are meant to uphold life, and not destroy it.

I don’t tell many people I’ve never killed anyone before, I make it seem as though I had. But I never really have. Even after the whole Dante hiring me and then Blurnsball, Duck and Lollypop beat on me, I didn’t kill them. I hurt them, badly, yes, but I didn’t kill them.

I decided, after my last encounter with my darker half that I needed to refirm that belief, and the only place I can do that is Tatooine, deep in a canyon.

I left Becca and Tatooine (The Tauntaun) on Coruscant and I headed for Tatooine (the planet) and I landed on an old heli-pad. There was a colony here, a large one, it prospered because of the scientists working on new technology for the GAR here.

When I landed I was greeted, and my ship was flown to a parking lot of sorts. The greeter took me down and led me to the outside of the colony, he knew I wanted to go there, and he gave me a speeder. They treated me like a queen because I often donated a small sum of (around $3,000) credits a year.

It may not seem like much, but I am the only one who contributes. I flew hard on the speeder and I rushed towards the canyon. Once I arrived at the canyon, I slowed down on the speeder, and I parked it, and headed towards a small cave.

I crawled through the entrance, and I was met by a pair of Tusken, holding guns at my head, I held my arms above my head, and they lead my downwards after stripping my lekkus of all their weapons.

The cave was dark, and lit only by small LCD lights (not that I needed them). They knew the way, and soon, I was down in the colony. I was lead to the hut with a different color clay used, and the two tusken opened the door and pushed me in. Once inside I knelt down.

A tusken man smiled, and he knelt down next to me, he began to speak, I understood him, it took me a long time to learn the Tusken langauge, but I had to.

“Sunny Day to you Moon-Ray,” he said. He calls me moon ray because my color reminds him of his skin in the moonlight.

“Hello old friend,” I said with a soft smile.

“What clouds cover the sun in your world?” He asked.

“Is it that obvious?” I asked.

“As clear as the three suns,” he said.

“I’m sorry, old friend, I’m not feeling very faithful.”

“I want to show you something, Moon-Ray,” he said.

I rose slowly, he rose and led me into the backroom. There was a tusken female laying on a bed, and she cradled a child in her arms, “That’s my new son,” he said.

I knelt down next to the mother and the child. She looked at me, and the baby was asleep. I looked at the mother and asked permission to touch her child. She nodded and I touched the child’s cheek gently.

It cooed, in its own tusken way. I withdrew my hand. I was sure there were tears rolling down my cheek because I felt them in my eyes. I turned from them, most abruptly. I walked away, and the Tusken Chieftan grabbed my arm, not forcefully or angerly, “Moon-Ray?” He asked.

I shook my head no, and I went outside of his hut.

I couldn’t go back in…

If you’ll excuse me, I have to cry…

Sobbing Hugs, and Submissive Kisses,
Erifia Apoc