Tuesday, April 25, 2006

Blockage: Court is now in Session

"Erifia Apoc, you have been found guilty with Smuggling Feral animals onto several worlds in which they don't belong, endangering a baby tauntaun, and impersonating a fellow Jedi. How do you plead?"

This was how my day started.

"Not Guilty your honor."

"Do you have a lawyer to represent you?"

"No, I will handle it myself."

"Good luck," replied the judge.

I felt a bit cheated, I did, the jury were clones, the judge was a clone, the prosecution was a clone. What could I do? Not much.

"Would the defense like to make an opening statement?"

"Ladie..." I coughed, "I mean Gentlemen of the Jury, I would like to prove to you, beyound a shadow of a doubt, that I am not guilty for any of the accusations levied against me."

"Does the defense rest?"

"Yes."

The clone-prosecution got up, smiled, and the jury went wild. This was going to be really bad.

"Defense. Call your first witness."

"I've none."

"Prosecution."

"I call, Erifia Apoc to the stand."

I knew it was going to happen, so I went up and sat down.

"Is it true you had a tauntaun on board your ship when you landed on Kamino?"

"Yes."

"For what reason did you have this tauntaun?"

"A wampa killed its mother, so I raising it as my own."

"Prove it."

"I can't."

"How did the baby tauntaun react in your presence?"

"I was his mother."

"So it came from you?"

"No, I raised him, as his mother."

"Have you impersonated Aayla Secura?"

"That depends."

"Depends?"

"Depends on if you mean, you all mistook me for her. I only used what your pitiful perceptions saw."

"Are you insulting this court?"

"This court insults itself."

"No further questions."

I went to my seat.

"Any further witnesses?" the clone-judge asked.

"Aayla Secura," replied the prosecution.

Naturally, Aayla was more than happy to prosecute me. She sat on the stand.

"Is it true that Erifia Apoc wants you dead?"

"Objection!" I screamed.

"On what grounds?"

"I have to have grounds? Crap... Proceed."

"Is it true Erifia Apoc wants you dead?"

"Yes."

The jury became silent.

"No further questions."

"Defense, your witness."

"Aayla Secura! Is it true that in the Jedi Temple, that you did everything in your power to make my life miserable?"

"No, I couldn't do something like that," she said sickly sweet.

"Aayla, is it true that you once stabbed me with a light dagger in the leg?"

"No, I don't remember it."

"Get out of here," I said.

She left with a smile on her face.

"Closing statements? Prosecution."

"The facts speak for themselves."

"Defense?"

"I wish to state, that though I did have a tauntaun, that I was caring for it as my own child, and though I have imperonated Aayla Secura, she deserved it because she's a mean cold hearted... woman..."

"Jury dismissed, determine a verdict and return."

If you'll excuse me, I'm getting ready for the sarlac pits.

Last hugs and Final kisses,
Erifia Apoc

5 Comments:

Blogger A Army Of (Cl)One said...

A wise person once said, "A person who acts as their own lawyer has a fool for a client."

And that Aayla is kinda cute, don't you think. And we all know cute people never lie... Case Closed.

2:24 PM  
Blogger Erifia Apoc said...

Aayla! Cute! I'm insulted... Hmph...

2:40 PM  
Blogger A Army Of (Cl)One said...

Are you having a three Lekkus vs. two Lekkus thingy issue with Aayla? Just asking

7:20 PM  
Blogger Erifia Apoc said...

I'm not saying! Tis a secret.

7:40 PM  
Blogger NandeHi said...

Nice to meet you, stop over to the Jedi Temple sometime and see me. :)

10:12 PM  

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