Wednesday, April 26, 2006

Blockage: The Verdict

I sat patiently... It was amazing how stupid I was being. All of the people in this court were clones, and I'm a Jedi. A Jedi who is very prone to Mind tricks... I hist my forhead, and my lekkus began to slap my back. Something they do when I don't use them (Lekkus contain part of my brain...) So I looked around, and the jury entered.

"Has the Jury found a verdict?"

"Guilty your honor..."

I was glad my lightsabers were attached as a headdressing to the end of my lekkus, they wouldn't know I had them. A chance to survive in the pits.

"Erifia Apoc, You've been found guilty of animal smuggling charges, and impersonating a fellow Jedi. On the charges of tauntaun endangerment you are found not guilty."

"What is my punishment your honor?"

"$50,000 credits fine or four years in prison."

I tried to contain my laughter. I did. My lekkus saw it coming so they all practically gagged me.

"M'll mamke mhe mine..."

"Okay, you'll pay $50,000 credits to me immeadiatly. And for future reference you can purchase an animal license for around $50 credits."

"Mmore monor, Mank moo."

I stood, and withdrew the credits and set them on his desk, and he signed a sheet saying I did, and I walked out of court... I broke out laughing, and even my lekkus danced... I began to spin and dance in joy, all the way to my ship.

It was very funny, because in my name, I've nearly $2,000,000 credits to my name. The beauty of Republic bounties on things I'm sent to hunt anyway.

I activated my ship. Flew to the local magistrate, and bought an animal license. Registered for a Tauntaun. I smiled and I ran to my ship again.

"Ship, Hoth! Ludacris Speed."

"I'm sorry Erifia, I can't do that."

"Why?"

"Because there is a copyright enfringment, and besides, that's a different galaxy."

"What about Crazy-Speed?"

"That can be done."

I locked my seatbelts, and in a flash and about ten minutes, I was in Hoth's Orbit, and I flew down to the surface.

"Computer, scan for life-form previously on this ship."

"Put you're right here Erifia."

"I mean, the glitch lifeform."

With several beeps, I saw where it was. "To McDookus!"

I ran, and Tatooine was there drinking McDookus milk and eating their lichen salads.

"Tatooine, my baby!"

His head turned and he ran towards me.

*I interrupt this sappy moment so you don't think I've gone soft. Tatooine is my closest thing to family I've ever had. I now return you to the sappy scene you are about to witness.*

I hugged him, and smiled as he nuzzled my hand.

"Welcome home Tatooine."

I placed him on my ship, and took off.

If you'll excuse me, I have a *legal* baby tauntaun to feed,

Hugs and kisses,
Erifia Apoc.

3 Comments:

Blogger A Army Of (Cl)One said...

This is why I don't have pets. Too much trouble, especially if one *coughjedispycough* has a busy and demanding lifestyle.

1:19 PM  
Blogger Lt. Cmdr Oneida said...

Your Tuantuan eats at McDooku's? Hmm, better watch out or he'll become a pudgy and less stealthy tauntaun

7:27 PM  
Blogger Barriss Offee said...

Well on the bright side, you won't be spending the next four years in prison.

10:59 PM  

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