Erifia Apoc vs. Aayla Secura: Finality

"I do not know how you aquired such wounds..." Barriss said as she began to heal my wounds, "They are like nothing I've ever seen, I'm not sure I can heal you."

I was holding my insides in. There was no feeling such as that. How firm your hand must be to ensure your life. I held tightly... I had to, and I was so tired. My eyes could barely stay open...

"Erifia, stay awake," she said.

"I can't," I moaned softly, and my eyes closed.
...

To spite me before we left for our individual trianing, she and Obi-wan had a secret romantic fling. I knew she had done it to hurt me, because she only spoke of him when I was in ear shot.

My school girl crush was my greatest weakness. Aayla exploited it at every chance she could, she would be in the holo-book library with him, and made sure I could see...

She was just using him... And late at night I cried when I thought of how crushed he would be if he ever found out. He did, and he was crushed. He came to me, and he told me everything. I've no idea why he confided in me, but he did... I patted his back and told him it would be okay... She wasn't good for him anyway...

...

"Open your eyes!" Barriss yelled.

...

Aayla stood beside me, at the end of our pre-training padawanacy. I had to give the speech, I to spite her worked my hardest to learn everything I could in school. I worked my hardest to become the best saber fighter in our year.

She was jealous. I knew she would be. She wanted to be where I was. But I could not allow it.

After my speech was over, she found me outside in the temple courtyard, I was saying goodbye to the school, Master Gerith Gwin was taking me away from Coruscant.

"I hate you," she said firmly.

"It didn't have to be so," I replied, "It never had to be so. Why did you pick on me?"

"You're a freak. I hate you, you've always been better than me. You started school earlier, you've outdone all my hardwork."

"You started it, I finished it."

"I'm so much more beautiful than you, smarter, stronger..."

"Aayla, you don't get it okay? Even if you are all those things, you sought to destroy me, and you destroyed yourself."

"Shut up!"

"I said to myself, it is not enough to succede others must fail. And Aayla, you were the one who put me through the most, you had to fail."

"Shut up!"

"You approached me."

She force pushed me into the fountain, and when I hit it, I felt my ribs crack. She held her hand out, and lightning came from them, it began to engulf me... Than she stopped. She covered her face with her hands and ran.

I landed into the water, and worked to get to my knees, so I could crawl to my Master. He needed to heal me.

...

"Erifia, I'm losing you, hold on!"

Tears streaked down my cheeks, there was a sharp burning pain in my wound.

I coughed, and I felt them move...

...

It was on Kiffex I saw her next.

Master Gerith Gwin went to search a lead, and I was old enough to search on my own. That's when I saw her, and she saw me. We stared at each other for a moment. She ran to try and get away, as if she was doing something wrong.

That's when I remembered Volfe Karkko. Aayla could use the dark side, I was a witness to it. I rushed after her. But she lost me, and I tried to track her.

By the time I found her it was too late, she had released him.

"Take care of the Padawan."

"Yes my master," Aayla said, and she drew her red lightsaber, and we crossed sabers.

I could easily beat her in training, because she was using a known style, but at the time she was using such an awkward style to fight with, I could do nothing but defend and back off.

Thats when she struck me with lightning right in my eyes, and I couldn't see, she cut into my side, that's when Master Gerith pulled away from me before there was too much damage done.

He sent Aayla flying into a wall, and grabbed me...

...

"Erifia, you must listen to Barriss, you can make it through this," Master Gerith spoke to me, holding my other hand, "But you must trust in the force, you are rejecting it."

I choked back on my spit, it felt like lava in my throat. I released my hand, letting my insides out, but I didn't feel them fall out.

"I need help Gerith," Barriss said, "Its too deep to hold on my own..."

I felt blackness, I felt cold, I let my head fall back slowly... I closed my eyes. I had to...

I couldn't breath because the blackness was so thick.

Sometime later...

I felt the cold again, I jumped up my lightsaber extended, and I held it defensively...

"I see you Aayla!" I yelled at her. She was standing there, taunting me, holding her red lightsaber ready to plunge into my chest.

I threw my saber at her, and she fell, two halves of her laying on the ground.

I released a deep breath, I had to go look for Karkko. I jumped and ran through the small corridors. I found him, and he had a saber extended. I threw mine at him. He had moved so fast, it missed him.

That's when he knocked my saber out of my hands, and his invisible hands held me to the ground.

"The infection took over!" I heard one of them yell.

I screamed, out loud, "I don't want to die! Let me live!"

I felt the blackness again. It was always there...

"Get back!" I yelled at it, "Get back!"

It did, and light shone through... I sat up...

I saw Barriss, she had fallen asleep at the desk, and Master Gerith was nowhere to be seen.

"Barriss..." I choked out.

"Erifia? You're awake... How do you feel?"

"Lost..."

"I'll tell you everything..."

She did... Thats when she told me the bad news... I screamed... I cried...

"No..." I said softly... I buried my head in between my knees, and I cried.

She left me. It was good time, because I started throwing things. No-one else was in the room, but I didn't care. I threw things at nothing. I threw things at everything. I was sick, and I threw up.

I cried... I didn't eat a thing for weeks. When they forced the food down my throat, I just threw it up again. I got sick, and pale, and without nutrition, I began to become nothing more than skin and bone...

Finally, it occured to me, she wanted me out of the game, thats why she did it... That's why she did everything.

Master Yoda came to me after I started eating again, "Erifia, Before your master left, he told me to give this to you...."

He handed me a lightsaber, I extended it, it was the dark purple, almost black one my Master so loved.

"But..."

"Question not, Erifia," Master Yoda said, "Countinue on with given path," he said, "Become a Jedi Knight, you must..."

"Yes Master Yoda..."

...

And I did... Erifia Apoc, Jedi Knight, Republic Spy, Orphan twice over.

If you'll excuse me, I really, really need to find my happy place right now,

Hugs and kisses,
Erifia Apoc