Memory 3: Lots of Emotions (Searching for DJK)
(You should read here to see what I left out.)
“Are you okay?” I asked Barriss as she got onto the ship.
“I think so…” she answered in turn.
My eyes softened over, it was one of the things I could control, I released the icy barrier and let my concern show through, “Then why were you so quiet on the way over?”
“I was,” she wiped a tear away, “Running a small test.”
“What do you mean by test?” I asked taken back, I thought she was running a common test, and if so… I don’t know what to think, I would have to hide her, the temple would have a witch hunt.
“A blood test,” she started t speak, then she thought twice because it was confirming my thoughts, “I ran a DNA test against myself and someone else.”
I raised my eyebrow, “Who?”
“The test showed that Master Luminara in fact is my mother.” Her tiny tears dropping down.
“Wait?” I asked, ever quick, “So your master could be your mother?”
“There is not could be about it, Erifia,” she said as she wiped away her tears, why does she wipe her tears so often? She needs to let them fall so they can land like badges of honor, “The test showed she is in fact my mother.”
My eyes got wide, “Isn’t that against the rules?” Barriss never broke the rules. She looked in total fear, “If so, I am so proud of her, and of you.”
She looked just as shocked as I must have. She had never heard me speak bad of the temple before, and it must have been a shock. The rules are what I hate, and nothing else. They make so many Jedi go to the dark side.
There was time of silence, and I looked at her, and said, “Do you need a hug?”
She barely nodded, and I wrapped my arms aroung her and tightened into a strong hug, “Are you going to be okay?”
“I don’t know, I think so,” she was trying to calm down. The rules were killing us, “Want me to go and kill someone for you?”
She looked at me to see if I was serious, “No,” she replied.
“Are you sure?”
“Yes, I’m sure,” she spoke.
"Do you think Luminara will tell you about your father?" I asked, and Barriss, clearly upset about the question spoke in turn with, "I'm not sure she will, I'm sure she does want to talk about it, but you and I both know that the code does not allow for that sort of thing to happen."
"The code," I let out a simple hmph, "So why did it happen?"
She responded with, "I don't know."I led her into my bedroom, and locked the door, she then asked, "What's your father like?"
My eyes had to burn with fire when she asked, "He's the most miserable man in the entire galaxy. When I was a child he sent me away to the temple because I was a financial burden on him." I didn't want to tell her about my mother... I didn't want to. She had one... I couldn't be jealous at her for that.
"You hate him for that, don't you?"
"Let's just say, I hate Aayla Secura more than anyone, but my father could quickly take her place," was my truthful response.
"I wonder is my father would have done the same thing?" she asked, ashen faced and scared. My real answer would have been, 'Yes, absolutely.'
"No, because of your mother," I sometimes am a little too nice... I don't want her heartbroken like mine was.
"What's your mother like?" she asked. Why was she asking me all these questions? What could it possible have to do with anything, what was my mother like. I felt the hot sting of tears running down my cheek, but I didn't realize I was crying.
"She was the most beautiful woman in all the galaxy... She loved me so much she gave her own life to let mine come into the world... I would have been so differnt if she was alive, I'd never have become a jedi, I'd have probably been a twi'lek dancing girl, like her..." I sighed, I wiped away my tears, "I always get like this..." and after a second of concentration, I covered all of my emotions up again, I don't like showing emotions, but I keep them close at hand, "I have a picture, its the only part of her I have..." I handed it to Barriss...
"It must be hard to know that I've had all this time with my mother and you only got a picture..."
I clenched my fist... I knew she was going to rub it in my face, I knew it... Somewhere deep down inside I knew she was going to say something.
"And? And what? You're master is still alive... You were going to say that too?" I screamed, "Weren't you?" I held my hands up to the wall, and I felt electricity building on my finger tips... My eyes became wide... I sat down on my bed... I went into the back corner, and curled up into a little ball. I closed my mind off, and I went to the back of my mind... I engulfed myself with a memory that could never ever be bad. One of my happy memories... One of my few happy memories... Back on Kashyyyk. With the bees, and the wookies... How much fun was that? With myself engulfed in that memory, replaying it again, and again in my head, then I moved to Seeing Ennth explode... The (second) most beautiful thing in the galaxy... I engulfed myself in it and watched again and again...
It was happy… I was happy. It was amazing… I didn’t know where I was, or what I was doing, but I was there… Nothing bad could happen to me. Nothing bad ever happened to me. “Erifia…” I heard someone call, I looked forward, see nothing there, “ERIFIA!” The voice was so familiar, I opened my outer eyes, the ones keeping me safe, there was a woman there yelling at me, but she never yelled before, she punched me in the side of my face, and my head went violently with the punch “IF YOU THINK HAVING MY MOTHER FOR A MASTER WAS A WONDERFUL… YOUR WRONG!”
Barriss, that was her name, Barriss was on the ground crying, “Erifia,” I think she was speaking to me, “She wasn’t loving… Her only realy concern was that I’d make it to Jedi Knighthood…” I was one of them wasn’t I? “Does that sound like a mother to you?” She began to sob as she put her head on bed and began to cry…
“Barriss?” I asked, “Why are you crying?” Why was she crying, I didn’t understand. What was she even talking about?
She began to shake, tears flowing even more. I sat down next to her, and she was shaking even more violently, “Barriss, what’s wrong? Why are you crying?” The door was locked, maybe I brought her in here because she was crying, “Barriss, what’s wrong?”
She tried to speak, but then she balled her hand into a fist, she went to swing, but then she stopped, “I…Hit…you…” she turned red, embarrassment, anger? “Broke…Healers code…….Sorry…” she couldn’t look at me.
“Barriss… Tell me what I did to warrant the hit… Please? I’ll never tell anyone. I promise…” I rubbed her back, my cheek still throbbing, but I was trying to make sense of everything.
If you'll excuse me, I need answers,
Sobbing hugs, and quick apologetic kisses,
Erifia Apoc
CD = 6
“Are you okay?” I asked Barriss as she got onto the ship.
“I think so…” she answered in turn.
My eyes softened over, it was one of the things I could control, I released the icy barrier and let my concern show through, “Then why were you so quiet on the way over?”
“I was,” she wiped a tear away, “Running a small test.”
“What do you mean by test?” I asked taken back, I thought she was running a common test, and if so… I don’t know what to think, I would have to hide her, the temple would have a witch hunt.
“A blood test,” she started t speak, then she thought twice because it was confirming my thoughts, “I ran a DNA test against myself and someone else.”
I raised my eyebrow, “Who?”
“The test showed that Master Luminara in fact is my mother.” Her tiny tears dropping down.
“Wait?” I asked, ever quick, “So your master could be your mother?”
“There is not could be about it, Erifia,” she said as she wiped away her tears, why does she wipe her tears so often? She needs to let them fall so they can land like badges of honor, “The test showed she is in fact my mother.”
My eyes got wide, “Isn’t that against the rules?” Barriss never broke the rules. She looked in total fear, “If so, I am so proud of her, and of you.”
She looked just as shocked as I must have. She had never heard me speak bad of the temple before, and it must have been a shock. The rules are what I hate, and nothing else. They make so many Jedi go to the dark side.
There was time of silence, and I looked at her, and said, “Do you need a hug?”
She barely nodded, and I wrapped my arms aroung her and tightened into a strong hug, “Are you going to be okay?”
“I don’t know, I think so,” she was trying to calm down. The rules were killing us, “Want me to go and kill someone for you?”
She looked at me to see if I was serious, “No,” she replied.
“Are you sure?”
“Yes, I’m sure,” she spoke.
"Do you think Luminara will tell you about your father?" I asked, and Barriss, clearly upset about the question spoke in turn with, "I'm not sure she will, I'm sure she does want to talk about it, but you and I both know that the code does not allow for that sort of thing to happen."
"The code," I let out a simple hmph, "So why did it happen?"
She responded with, "I don't know."I led her into my bedroom, and locked the door, she then asked, "What's your father like?"
My eyes had to burn with fire when she asked, "He's the most miserable man in the entire galaxy. When I was a child he sent me away to the temple because I was a financial burden on him." I didn't want to tell her about my mother... I didn't want to. She had one... I couldn't be jealous at her for that.
"You hate him for that, don't you?"
"Let's just say, I hate Aayla Secura more than anyone, but my father could quickly take her place," was my truthful response.
"I wonder is my father would have done the same thing?" she asked, ashen faced and scared. My real answer would have been, 'Yes, absolutely.'
"No, because of your mother," I sometimes am a little too nice... I don't want her heartbroken like mine was.
"What's your mother like?" she asked. Why was she asking me all these questions? What could it possible have to do with anything, what was my mother like. I felt the hot sting of tears running down my cheek, but I didn't realize I was crying.
"She was the most beautiful woman in all the galaxy... She loved me so much she gave her own life to let mine come into the world... I would have been so differnt if she was alive, I'd never have become a jedi, I'd have probably been a twi'lek dancing girl, like her..." I sighed, I wiped away my tears, "I always get like this..." and after a second of concentration, I covered all of my emotions up again, I don't like showing emotions, but I keep them close at hand, "I have a picture, its the only part of her I have..." I handed it to Barriss...
"It must be hard to know that I've had all this time with my mother and you only got a picture..."
I clenched my fist... I knew she was going to rub it in my face, I knew it... Somewhere deep down inside I knew she was going to say something.
"And? And what? You're master is still alive... You were going to say that too?" I screamed, "Weren't you?" I held my hands up to the wall, and I felt electricity building on my finger tips... My eyes became wide... I sat down on my bed... I went into the back corner, and curled up into a little ball. I closed my mind off, and I went to the back of my mind... I engulfed myself with a memory that could never ever be bad. One of my happy memories... One of my few happy memories... Back on Kashyyyk. With the bees, and the wookies... How much fun was that? With myself engulfed in that memory, replaying it again, and again in my head, then I moved to Seeing Ennth explode... The (second) most beautiful thing in the galaxy... I engulfed myself in it and watched again and again...
It was happy… I was happy. It was amazing… I didn’t know where I was, or what I was doing, but I was there… Nothing bad could happen to me. Nothing bad ever happened to me. “Erifia…” I heard someone call, I looked forward, see nothing there, “ERIFIA!” The voice was so familiar, I opened my outer eyes, the ones keeping me safe, there was a woman there yelling at me, but she never yelled before, she punched me in the side of my face, and my head went violently with the punch “IF YOU THINK HAVING MY MOTHER FOR A MASTER WAS A WONDERFUL… YOUR WRONG!”
Barriss, that was her name, Barriss was on the ground crying, “Erifia,” I think she was speaking to me, “She wasn’t loving… Her only realy concern was that I’d make it to Jedi Knighthood…” I was one of them wasn’t I? “Does that sound like a mother to you?” She began to sob as she put her head on bed and began to cry…
“Barriss?” I asked, “Why are you crying?” Why was she crying, I didn’t understand. What was she even talking about?
She began to shake, tears flowing even more. I sat down next to her, and she was shaking even more violently, “Barriss, what’s wrong? Why are you crying?” The door was locked, maybe I brought her in here because she was crying, “Barriss, what’s wrong?”
She tried to speak, but then she balled her hand into a fist, she went to swing, but then she stopped, “I…Hit…you…” she turned red, embarrassment, anger? “Broke…Healers code…….Sorry…” she couldn’t look at me.
“Barriss… Tell me what I did to warrant the hit… Please? I’ll never tell anyone. I promise…” I rubbed her back, my cheek still throbbing, but I was trying to make sense of everything.
If you'll excuse me, I need answers,
Sobbing hugs, and quick apologetic kisses,
Erifia Apoc
CD = 6
posted by Erifia Apoc at 11:30 PM
3 Comments:
From what I cna tell about the Jedi Code, I think (to quote Captain Barbosa) it is more of a guideline. The Jedi seem to be getting it on more than most other in what i have read recently.
If you don't beleive me go ask Kenobi about that hottie he know about 10 years ago .... what was her name Seleina, Sernia, Cielon Dion... just go ask him and seee if he blushes.
You know what's best about apologetic kisses? They're usually a bit salty. Yummy!
Salty, apologetic kisses are sometimes the best kind.
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