My failure exposed

(My failure was witnessed by someone else, read on Their Blog.)

I was dreading this. I had failed in finding out exactly who was behind everything for Dante. I felt bad going to him with what little information I had. I knocked on his door, it was broad daylight, I was wearing my normal outfit, and I waited.

I felt bad because I had failed him, I looked towards the peep hole, and waited for Dante to open the door.

He opened the door, and hid how excited he was to see me, it was behind his eyes, “Come in, Come in.” Once I took a step over the threshold he took a deep breath and released his words out with it, “So… What do you have for me?”

I spoke softly, “I’ve got good news and bad news. The Good news is Oneida isn’t and wasn’t in trouble at all.” I wanted him to ask for the bad news, because this was the type of bad news people relay needed to ask for.

“What was it all about then?” He asked hurriedly, “Just a prank?” He frowned, “And what’s the bed news?”

“The bad news is three Malstarian spies were after you to try and get you to turncoat on the Republic. They had been following you for some time, waiting for a good time to get you to join them as a contact. But I have failed in the mission you asked, I do not know who messed with the picture, and neither do the three I had arrested…” I bowed my head in defeat, and couldn’t look him in the eyes.

I couldn’t even glance up.

“Malstarian spies?” he repeated slowly. There was a long pause. Something told me he knew I had messed up, and that I was worthless.

He then reached out and gently lifted my chin to see him, “Thank you for alerting me about the problem with the Malastarians, but I don’t know where this leaves me?”

“If you’d like I can continue making sure no spies get to you,” I tried to lower my eyes again, but his hand was holding me there, “I failed you. I do not expect payment at all. I tried… I watched you, I could find no-one watching you with a holo-camera, I even tried rerouting it back, and I got fifty-thousand locations. Whoever did this was out of my league. They must have been trained since birth to be a slicer… I was trained much later…”

I was trying to explain my failure, I felt so bad, that a tear almost appeared in my eye, and I turned quickly wiping it away I turned back to him quickly. I took a deep breath, and banished all of my emotions. My face became as stoic as always, and my eyes masked, and began to fill with blankness.

“I don’t care about any spies,” he spoke, “There’s nothing they can do to me. I only care about…” He stopped himself.

“Well thank you for trying, he said after a long pause, “What about that guy, Mal? I mean its got to be him right?”

“No, its not Mal, he was my prime suspect, and then I looked. He was following the spies following you,” I answered, “He was trying to protect you.”

I looked up to him, “You care about Jardena. Even over your own safety, as long as she is alright, you can keep going. Not all jedi are idiots Dante,” I said softly, “I know that in emotion you don’t traverse that thin line… Between good and evil. When you try and hide it, you’ll succumb… Look, I’m sorry I failed you. I know it was important to you.”

I turned and went to the door and laid my hand on the handle.

“I’m sorry,” he apologized, “I’m sure you did what you could.”

“As much as I could, I took my abilities, pushed them to the end, and I was able to crawl back again. Look, I’m going to go, I’ll be out of your life forever. Goodbye Dante.”

I opened the door and stepped across the threshold, I didn’t close it behind me, he was right there, and he could it myself. Thoughts all running through my head, so many of them I couldn’t keep them all straight, and I got to the end of the hall, and sat. I needed to clear my thoughts. If I went out so confused, anybody could jump me. I didn’t want that. I buried my face in my knees, like I did as a child.

“Are you okay?” he asked coming up along side, “I do appreciate what you tried to do for me. I mean that.”

I rubbed my eyes in my knees, and I looked up to Dante, “Yeah, I’m fine, thanks for asking… I do wish I could have done more.” I stood, his sincerity had shown through his voice. I only hoped mine was showing too. “I’m not very good at the whole showing men emotion thing.” I smiled trying to show I was both joking and being serious and I gave him a tight hug.

“You’re a sweet guy,” I said, “Keep it up okay?” I released the hug, and looked at him, “I have to get back to what it is I do, keep in touch? If you need anything give me a ring…”

“I’ll do that,” he said with a nod she then added with a twisted smile, I had never seen one like that before, “I may even come see you dance again, but that’s probably not wise of me.”

I turned from him, and walked through the door.
“Thank you…” I said as I disappeared.

If you'll excuse me I've many things to do, and less time to do them in,

Hugs (Tight ones) and Kisses (Long ones.)
Erifia Apoc

CD = 7