Yelling and Screaming (At the Council)

I arrived on Coruscant, and I was waiting impatiently outside of the council chambers. The temple was somewhat dark today, and it was because of what I was there to do.

The doors opened.

“Erifia, in you must come,” Master Yoda said.

I entered the council. I bowed my head to Master Yoda, “Master,” I said to openly spite the others in the room, “I must speak with you all. Forgive me for what I am about to say.”

“My blessing you have. Speak away you can.”

“You all have been ruining us!” I screamed, “Your laws restricting emotion almost made me become a sith!”

I looked around at their reaction, not surprisingly no-one was shocked.

“I have trusted my emotions as my master taught me, and his master before him. Instead of hating them and hiding them, I made them a part of who I am. I have lived this way, and you have known this. If you’d see to kick me out of the temple, do so now. For all of its emotional laws I have broken.”

Shaak-Ti was the first who wanted to speak, “We know you have…”

“I am a young woman! I am twenty four. I need love. I need someone in my life. Even if I didn’t want to feel emotion, I am sure each of you up there, save you Master can remember that feeling of want and desire.”

Obi-Wan went to speak.

“No! And You. Don’t get me started on you. Hypocrisy is rampant in the temple. You know that? All of you save you Master are Hippocrates. I know secrets about each of you. Secrets that could destroy you. Any secrets about me, are out in the open. I know about everything,” I looked at Luminara specifically at that point.

Luminara spoke, “What secrets?”

“I’m a spy. Just shut up, and take what I am saying to you all! Did you know if I wasn’t trained to release my emotions I would have become a sith? My master saved my soul. Because he taught me emotions were not wrong. Many Sith come out of the temple, you know why? Because none of you teach your padawans to deal with releasing that emotion. It doesn’t have anything to do with the force; it has everything to do with spirits and souls!”

Mace went to say something.
“Yeah. So speaks the biggest hypocrite. How come when I use my emotion I am wrong, yet when he uses his he is right?”

Master Yoda spoke, and I bowed my head in respect, “Erifia, done yet are you?”

“No master, may I continue?”

“Tell me when done you are.”

“Yes sir…”

Once I was sure he wasn’t going to reply, I looked back up.

“And poor Barriss! She’s afraid to come to you because of your rules. Guess what champs… She’s starting to feel things. Imagine that, all that repressed emotion finally showing itself as fear from you for your stupid rules…”

Nothing.

“How many of you have taught your padawans to know that everything a sith says is to get you to give into becoming a sith? I couldn’t help but listen to the sith who approached me. She used living force to hold my attention to her. I could do nothing but listen and agree with her? Whose fault is that? My Master’s Master’s Master. That’s right, I was never taught that.”

I blinked my eyes, and Obi-Wan went to speak again, “Why did you not strike the sith down?”

I turned to him, “Why? So I could become one? If a jedi hears one word from a sith’s mouth, and then kills them, they have a chance to take over that sith’s position, or did we forget that? Oh wait… That’s right, it’s alright to kill, Sith. Yet if a bounty hunter tries to blow my head off, I can’t kill him. But… Wait… All of you sitting up there are allowed to kill anyone you wish who is a threat. But I am only allowed to kill droids.”

The council remained quiet.

“No words now, huh? No words of advice? Or are you going to tell your padawans everything I just spoke her, and excommunicate me from the temple, and I’ll be nothing but another rule for masters to follow…”

Tears began to streak down my eyes. It took so much courage to do this.

“See these? I cried these for several days… How many of you know what it feels like to have these streaming down your face uncontrollably because there are rules against them? Each tear I cry is for my friends that have died or went to the dark side because of your silly rules. Notice how many there are? Maybe you should all make a change. Because I am not. My emotions controlled and repressed led me to almost become a sith, my emotions released and allowed me to remain a jedi. Think about that when you all sleep tonight.”

I bowed my head, “I am done Master,”

“Erifia, talk you and I must in my quarters.”

I closed my eyes, tears rolled down my cheek. Master Yoda stood from his chair and stood beside me, together we exited the council chambers, and I looked down, he stood up to my knee cap. I giggled lightly as tears rolled down my cheek.

“Giggle why do you?”

“I’m sorry Master I mean no disrespect, I am just very scared right now, so I looked for something to laugh at…”

“My height it is, sometimes funny it is. Understand this I do. Laugh you may…”

“No Master, it is disrespectful to you.”

“Respect me, why do you?”

“Because Master, of all of them, you were the only one who treated me as a person… Besides Obi-Wan but…”

“Return your affection he did not…”

My stomach sunk… I stumbled and had to support myself on a wall.

“Idiot could see it,” he added, “Obi-Wan did not, tells you something that does. To me why did you not turn?”

I slid down the wall and sat against it, my knees bent up, he looked around them and stood next to my head, “I was scared.”

“Scared of me, never should you be. Here to help only am I.”

“Master, are you going to kill me?” tears began to roll down my eyes, and I blinked them heavily, I saw him withdrawing his saber and removing my head.

“No, nothing like that I will do to you. Truth be told, respect you I do. Gerith Gwin’s death, not your fault it was,” (Somehow I didn’t like the wording…) “Survived that pain you did, Understand that, I cannot.”

I looked at him intently.

“Not a council seat I offer you, but strength of soul you have, impressive it is. Master a padawan will you?”

I choked… I began to laugh. Loud and hard. He can’t seriously be offering me the position of master.

“Padawan do you want?”

“Master. I am honored. I truly am. But me? You want another me running around?”

“Have another you around, not bad that will be. Have another Kenobi running around, terrible that will be. Drift of mine you catch?”

“Yes Master, may I think about it?”

“Think hard not, return to me within a week.”

“Yes Master, If you’ll excuse me I’m going to go think, okay?”

“Many hugs and kisses,” he began to laugh a little. (He knows me better than I thought.) I gave him a hug.

Erifia Apoc