Screams (Erifia)

I stared helplessly at the men and the coffin. I fell to my knees. I looked at the men, who stared at me. They hung their heads low, and I felt tears fill my eyes.

“Is it?” I whispered.

There was a nod. I closed my eyes. When I opened them, the men flinched. I grabbed my sabers. I cannot recite what happened next, I do no remember. All I remember is standing at my ship, with blaster wounds and covered in oil.

It was then when I broke down. Tears rolled down my face, and I felt such pain- I cannot describe it for I have never- No… When my master died… I felt this pain.

I thought back then that it was a way for me to get stronger.

I was wrong… I feel… Useless… Helpless…

I am useless.

I miss him. I had just seen him… Not but two days before. I… I couldn’t help him… I…

I vomited, I think. I can’t remember. Deadweight was gone… It’s my fault… I wasn’t strong enough for him.

I stood, tears filling my eyes but drying…

I spoke, bitter words coming from my mouth… My own vow broken as soon as I opened my mouth…

“There is no emotion; there is peace. There is no ignorance; there is knowledge. There is no passion; there is serenity. There is no death, there is the Force.”

My voice crackled as did my stance against that… My eyes clouded over… I could feel it, as the sorrow was covered up.

“There is no emotion; there is peace. There is no ignorance; there is knowledge. There is no passion; there is serenity. There is no death, there is the Force.”

If you’ll-

Hu-

-Erifia Apoc