Sunday, June 03, 2007

Big-Whiny-Baby-Vader (Sapphire)

(See what the Doofus sees.)

We came out of hyperspace in a bad place. The Rebellion was heading off an attack against the Empire. Isn’t it always that way?

This was no ordinary battle. It was a battle in which, I am sure we would not be walking away from. Six Star Destroyers, one of them led by the baby, Darth Vader, against three of our old GAR cruisers, and a Mon Calamari.

They called me. Why? I can never be sure. They told me they had my requirements to fly for them, and I showed up.

It pays well. Fifty Credits a Tie-Fighter.

The Sapphire family would eat well tonight.

When the alarm sounded, I was taking a nap in the storage room, and I woke, and ran for my ship. A CIS Bomber. I smiled while I rubbed its rusting hull.

The Sapphire family would eat very well tonight.

I hopped into the ship, and I masked myself. I activated my com, and I put on my custom helmet to fit my lekkus, “This is Lone-Flyer Starburst reporting in.”

“Starburst, you have your orders, be sure to keep the channels on the others and assist your fellows as needed.”


I activated the old gears, and I launched out of the hull. I forgot how beautiful space was. I never stopped and looked anymore… It was nice, I was the first one out, and I would probably be the last one back.

I switched my com, to the enemy’s. Why don’t they ever think to do that? I flew towards the baby’s Star Destroyer… That ball looking thing on the top of it? Yeah, I am going to bust his balls.

The tie fighters poured out of the ship like bees. That’s little better then what they were. They were clones, sure, but their training was that of what a queen bee would say to her drones, “Food, get, now.” That’s when I heard the baby, “Form up behing me, the leader is mine.”

He then spoke again, “Shoot to kill!”

Duh- Stupid… In Space one shot is death.

“Your fighters are outnumbered. I do not take prisoners, your ships will be destroyed.”

Was he talking to me?

“I suppose you are speaking to me, Baby. Uhm, I think we are going to fight anyway. You might want to comm back to your Destroyer, Your balls are getting busted baby.”

I released a volley of bombs onto them, from behind the main thrusters, having flown under the destroyers, and going up around.

He spoke, as I saw his elite fighters, turn towards where I was, “Starburst, we meet again. I should have known it was you, leading these fools to their deaths.”

“See, Baby, they don’t let me lead anymore, after that assault where we lost near about a thousand fighters on taking out six destroyers, remember that?” I bit my tongue as I spun around an asteroid.

Three bursts of energy grazed my hull, as he spoke in my ear, “Tragic, your skills were lacking, they always were, Not much has changed.”

I dodged right, and then flew tight against the bottom of the Star Destroyer, if I wanted to make any money, I needed to get away, “You, on the other hand, forgot how sneaky I was.”

I did a hard right turn, and spun over the huge Destroyer’s hull, and I swooped towards a group of Tie Interceptors, “Tag,” I said, as the bomb exploded, sending two halves into the ones next to it, “You’re it.”

A metallic voice filled my cockpit, “Tracking torpedo locked on, impact in five-four-five-six-seven-eight.” I pulled up hard, flying right back towards Baby Vader.

“You lost this,” I laughed, “It wants you back.” I spun towards the hull.

“You can’t win this with tinker toys, Starburst. I almost had you once, and I will again. A laser hit my window, and my ship swerved, “You always did think you were better then everyone else.”

“No, I am better then you,” I released a volley of bombs up the hall of the Executor, “Aww, I missed you, baby.”

Another torpedo spun in and struck my side, “And just have you missed, Jedi?”

“Now,” I said taking quickened breaths, seeing my ship getting beat up, “What makes you think I am a jedi?”

My ship started sputtering and it was on fire, “I’m going down baby, congrats, you did it… Now, go kill rebellion troops… Have fun you son of a - - -“ I shut off my com so he would get static, and I shot the ship right where I was headed making it appear as though I had blown up.

I needed a new ship.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Okay… You people hate me now… Look at what the Author did to Erifia…

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I seriously am not this red eyed monster…

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Stop thinking that with your terrible mind…

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Come now, that’s too far.

Look… I’m trying to make it up to her. But it had to happen people… Trust me.

However, I want you all to enjoy, Ms. Leuba Sapphire’s adventures while the her in the past fixes her issues.

Speaking of Issues. I am taking Erifia, Becca, Tatooine, and Myself to Endor.

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Probably be there for about a week, and she will get better I promise.

She did when I took her to the beach…

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Speaking of getting better, Becca doesn’t know how to pitch a tent, light a fire, catch fish, hunt, gather berries, or sleep and eat, I’m pretty sure.

Erifia is totally comatose.

And Tatooine means well, but his tail knocks everything down. Maybe I should conjure up some Darth Inferna… She always seems to know what she is doing…

Oh well…

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About interrupting…

-The Author!


Blogger Dark Jedi Kriss said...

Nice, and Vader just have fun while I'm stuck.

Hey, author baby, don't have to much fun. *wink*

10:26 AM  
Blogger Darth Vader said...

No you can't.

10:30 AM  
Blogger cooltopten said...

Hehe Author is cool :)

2:11 PM  
Blogger Master Obi-Wan said...

Looks like author is having a good time there.

Vader, you don't get it, do you?

4:25 PM  
Blogger Master Adana said...

Yes, author is very cool.

Erifia, you are not alone in this.

Vader, you just don't get it do you?

4:27 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Just please remember to bring her back to us. As her friends we miss having her around if you didn't.

12:33 AM  
Blogger Jean-Luc Picard said...

Yes, Author, we want Erifia back in one piece.

3:07 PM  
Blogger Summer Dawn O'Ciardha said...

Hey, you're back... Where is the post?

2:50 PM  

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