Wednesday, June 20, 2007

Bigger-Whinier-Babier-Vadier (Sapphire)

(See what the Doofus sees.)

I rolled into the hull of the Executor, and I landed my beat up old, CIS bomber. I shot it once with the blaster at my side, and it exploded. I sighed heavily.

Then I saw it. I walked up to it and kissed it. I pressed myself against it, it was a Tie Bomber. It was amazing. Shiny, new, black… I climbed into it, the R2 unit began to whistle and hiss. I shot it.

It silenced itself, and began to do the work. I kicked on the thrusters and jutted out of the hull.

I found his com channel, but I didn’t say anything, instead I shot down several Tie-Fighters, and they never saw it coming.

I slipped into an escort group, and I was with the bombers it was leading towards the hull of the Mon Calamari.

“Where are you Starburst. I still feel your force,” said the baby.

“How about this Baby… I am going to do a little trick that they didn’t teach you.”

I closed my eyes. I concentrated through the force, and I extended, and masked my force in a way an old teacher taught me so long ago. When I opened my eyes, my force signature was buried in about three hundred places.

Every Tie Bomber attacking the cruiser. This included my own. It was the only way I could get him off of my fighters, and the only way we could win.

“I will tell you this…Baby… I am in a Tie Bomber. Let’s play a little game. Which one am I in?”

He growled in the Com, and his voice was heavy and angry, “This is an order from Darth Vader. All Tie Fighters, fire on your bombers… Now!”

I laughed into the Com, and as the fighters who were escorting me, turned and began firing on me. I swerved to avoid it like all of the other bombers were doing. I clicked into the secure line and hit up the Lead Mon Calamari, “I’ve got them distracted, take out that Second Star Destroyer and then get out of here.”

I clicked back to Vader’s line, “Starburst! Starburst! I have you now.” He fired on the bomber to my right, and I laughed, “Poor guy.”

He swept down and held on me, “I think this is you…”

“It probably is, you should shoot and kill it.”

I pulled hard and spun towards him. He fired his torpedos, and they came right at me. I spun up, and released a volley of bombs at him.

“I have her. Stop firing on the bombers…”

I heard on the same line, “The bombers are all gone sir. The only one left is the one you are firing on.”

“You are Rebel Scum, and I am going to kill you. Like I did everyone at the-“ I clicked my com on a different channel, “Did that upset you?” He continued, “I can feel it, your force signature has changed. You are angry… Use it…”

I snapped my finger as I rolled the ship, “You don’t know who you are talking to, kid. I was holding a saber while you were still a sand-child. You ain’t got Nothing on me.”

He fired the torpedos at me, “All, got a little stand stuck up your craw?!”

He fired them again, and I spun, letting them hit the Executor again.

“Aww… Poor thing. Not talking, you only speak Sand People, huh?” I screamed in Tuscan at him, it was lewd.

“You are a stupid Jedi!”

“You are a dust-headed Sand Child. Go back home! Oh wait, you destroyed your home… Why don’t you take that Egg to the ruins on Corouscant?”

“Shut-up!” He rumbled and my shi shook as ten torpedoes were flung from his, aimed at me, and hitting the Executor.

“Hey… Lightbright Chest… Take a look over there, at your second Destroyer…”

The Star Destroyer was glowing red, and the pieces began to break and fall apart in dull explosions. It began to break and crack, and I spun hard heading towards the debris… I heard the engines of the Calamari starting, and if I didn’t get in, I would be as good as dead.

“So what, I will build more…”

“But, guess what, you are out of Bombers and Vulnerable, And while you wear that Black Mushroom Head Helmet, you can’t see through these debris…”

I pushed through the fire, and I spun around some metal jutting out, and pulled in a circle and went through a hall in the ship, then I saw a bombed hole. I fired decorating the hall with my bombs, and I flew through the hole.

“Goodbye Princess!” I yelled into the com, kicked on my thrusters, and I went towards the dock. I landed in and my ship struck the wall as the Calamari shifted into hyperspace.

I landed on the floor, and rolled out of my ship, and laid on the floor looking at the ceiling. I began laughing heavily, and a rebellion pilot came over, and he grabbed my hand and helped me up, “Thanks Sapphire,” he said, “We’d have all died without you.”

“No. You boys can handle yourself.”

I need a bath,

Sapphire out.

5 Comments:

Blogger Jean-Luc Picard said...

Leuba, you definately have an identity crisis!

3:05 PM  
Blogger Dark Jedi Kriss said...

Vader's is a little slow with his reply but that's Vader. Teehehee!

10:20 PM  
Blogger Skywalker said...

Well, we are talking about Vader. There's a lot of bucket on his head, you know?

10:22 PM  
Blogger Darth Vader said...

I will find you.

11:05 PM  
Blogger Vegeta said...

and when he does he'll make stupid mistakes so you can defeat him!

4:29 AM  

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