Guest Poster - Padawan Erifia [Topic: When I was Young]

I am Erifia Apoc, a Jedi Master, and a Republic Spy, but I wasn’t always so. I once was a padawan, naïve and young.

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“I’ve got the flag!” Someone yelled, I didn’t know who it was. I just knew that I was nearby. I heard them running, their feet pounding the soft holo ground, and then they hit the creek, the creek is nearby. They were using the force! That was cheating!

I stepped out from behind the tree, and force shoved them into the ground, and I grabbed the flag, and touched their flailing arm. I hadn’t meant to hurt Ecnarb but he was cheating. I ran the flag back.

I stuck strong against the trees, and I returned the flag. Obi-Wan was there, and he smiled when he saw I returned the flag, “Good Job, Erifia.”

I smiled softly at him, and I began my quick trek back to the red side. I stuck up against the trees, and I traveled through the bushes. When I arrived at the other end, I had to look for their flag.

That was the hard part, and since Aayla was hiding it, she would hid it with specific purpose so I would never find it. It was true. She knew me, she studied me. I caught her a couple times. I didn’t understand what the big deal was, I was nothing special. I stayed to myself, except when Barriss and I worked on our studies together, or when Obi-Wan came to see me.

He did that a lot. Came to me at night, crying. It was hard to take, for me at least, I’m eleven, and he’s sixteen, and so cute. So cute… But Aayla hurt him a lot… She’s fourteen. She’s a lot older then me.

I could never compete for his love. The flag was hidden in the big bush, in middle of the clearing. I could see its bright red colors from where I stood, the night was like the day, and I could see everyone around me.

I was clear, no one was there, and the only light of the holo moon left me a dark line right up to the bush, and I followed it hanging in tightly to it. About halfway through the clearing, someone punched me in the back of the head, and I fell to the ground writhing in pain.

It was Aayla, I recognized the fist. I turned over and I looked at her, “I caught you, tri’lek.” I nodded solemnly and I stood and began my trek towards jail. It wasn’t long before their team won. Aayla did everything she could to stop me. Why did she hate me so much?

I left the game early that night, and with my leaving my team gave up. I couldn’t be such a vital player in the team? Could I? Was I? I went to the showers. Other girls came in. I left without my shower. I went to my room, and I looked at the picture of my mother laying on my headboard. I reached out for her, and realized she was just a picture. I leaned against the wall, and my head rested against it.

I began to cry. Sometimes I wonder if it would be easier to quit being a jedi. Is it really worth it? Couldn’t I quit? I was going to, it wasn’t worth it. Aayla beats me everyday, its not worth it; no-one ever believes except Master Gerith. Quinlan Vos has them all wrapped around his finger. I can’t even hate Aayla as much as I hate him!

I packed my clothes. I packed everything I cared about, and the last thing I put in was the picture of my mother. I ran out of dorms, and I ran out of the temple. I was never going back there. Never ever. No-one could make me!