Wednesday, October 10, 2007

Visit Home: Part 5 (Becca)

Long time no see Gentle Reader!

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Needless to say, my story’s been done for perhaps six weeks, and The Author is too lazy to post it up… He says its school, but somehow I don’t believe him. He’s got to be graduated; he is The Author, right?

But, I don’t know… I need to get this story out there… So I had one left, Private Hudson.

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He came to my door, wearing a suit, with his hair slicked back. He was trying to look nice. He wasn’t stinky – Like… He was stinky, but it was because he was nervous and put too much cologne on. He had a large bouquet of flowers, and when I answered the door in my long red dress, he looked down, “I’m sorry I’m late Mr. and Mrs. Magnificenta, is Rebecca home?”

“Hudson, it’s me,” I said.

“Oh! Becca… How are ya’ll?” I forced a smile, “I’m good Hudson.”

“Look! I’m gunna take you out for a real nice date…”

Needless to say Hudson’s real nice date, by human standards is not that terribly nice. He took me to a little family restaurant near by. It was one of the struggling places, not many people know of.

When the waitress came over, he kept his eyes intent on mine. I didn’t read his mind, because he was trying sooo hard to not look at the waitress. I don’t know, to me, that was like one of the sweetest things he had ever done.

“What’ll you have?” The waitress asked.

Oh Sweet Protector of All Things Holy! If I hear the words sensual salad again, I’m going to freak.

He said, “I’ll have a sensual salad… She can order what she wants.”

“I don’t know… Uhm…” Given the freedom, I guess I really didn’t know what I wanted, “A Sensual Salad.”

So the waitress brought two sensual salads. Hudson and I talked over our salads. He really is a, I don’t know, a nice guy. But he’s a pervert. If I had a dollar for every time I caught him trying to see me naked.

I don’t know… I think at that many times he’s tried to see me naked, it makes me sick to my stomach. He took me out to a movie, and let me pick the movie! He was like, really sweet the whole date. He didn’t try to put any moves on me…

Until we were in the dark movie theater, he slipped his arm around my shoulder, and I lifted it off. He put it back. I lifted it off. It was a cartoon from that point. On, off, on, off, on, off. Finally, he decided to stick his hand on my knee.

He leaned over to kiss me, and I head butted him. On purpose, but I don’t know, I’m quite good at making it look like a mistake, then I uppercut him. He fell back down a couple of seats away, “What a kiss!?” He claimed loudly, and started chasing me.

I don’t know… Is there not a decent man out there?


Ps. 7

Friday, October 05, 2007

Meme'd by the Apprentice

*Sigh* Here goes... My MeMe. There is no hope for the world when old retired twi'leks get smacked in the face by young spry apprentices.

If only I had Master Yoda's Pressure washer, you'd get it, Miss Solo.

So this is required.

1. You have to post these rules before you give the facts.

2. You must list one fact that is somehow relevant to your life for each letter of your middle name. If you don’t have a middle name, use the middle name you would have liked to have had.

3. At the end of your blog post, you need to choose one person for each letter of your middle name to tag. Don’t forget to leave them a comment telling them they’re tagged, and to read your blog.

As far as I know, Aliases don't have middle names. So Let's go with Leuba

L - (I) Love to sleep. Its something I've done as I've gotten older, and now I enjoy it all the more.

E - (I am) Edgy most of the time. I get cranky easy. I promised myself I wouldn't be that type of old person, but I just want rest.

U - (I am) Understanding. I try to identify with everyone.

B - Bang-Bang, I shot you down, Bang-Bang, you hit the ground, Bang-Bang. I use a long range sniper rifle.

A - (I) Always get my man. *Wink*

Likewise, in regards to me-me'ing people...

L - Local Henchman 432.
E - Epsilon 775
U - Unduli, Luminara
B - Belda
A - Army of Clone.

Take that...

-End Transmission