Jabim: Part 6 (Erifia)

My saber flew out of my hand and ripped into the droid. I leapt into the air as a volley of blaster shots came at me. I ran along the walls, and I leapt and rolled behind boxes, which provided me cover for only a few seconds.

I did a leap into the air, and then I landed on one of the men’s shoulders. That was a mistake. The other men barraged me with the stun blasts, and I went tumbling downwards, and I hit the ground with a thud.

I winced in pain, I tried to move my legs but I couldn’t. I used my arms trying to move back A man in white took the hilt of his gun, and hit me over the head.

I felt bubbles fizz up in my head, and the pain was intense, and all that surrounded me was blackness.

I woke and I felt like I was submerged in water. I looked around, I was, I was in a bacta tank. I began to scream as I looked at the convoluted world outside of the tank.

“LET ME OUT!” I screamed.

I tried to find some way to get out, by with my flailing the men who had put me in here injected something into the bacta and I felt my body calm. My breathing swallowed. I felt so helpless.

Let me help you, said a voice in my head.

“No,” I responded verbally.

I cast my defeated eyes down in the bacta and I let my body go limp. I had lost my men, and I had lost my will to go on. I bacta began to lower, and my limp body laid down on the floor. In the bacta it couldn’t be seen, but I was crying.

“Take me,” I said without looking up, “Let my men go, please… it may not be much of a trade, but let them go… Do what you want with me.”

I cast my eyes up. The man who was standing there extended his hand down to me. I took it, and he helped me walk. He set me down on a bed, and I shivered. It was so cold.

“Forgive me,” he said, “I know you are noble, but I had to find out for sure.”

I looked at him. My men were all walking around. I noticed Deadweight was nearby me. I smiled at him, “Let me guess,” I said, “He didn’t leave my side?”

“No, he didn’t leave,” the man said, “I am Cheiftan Harraj.”

“Erifia Apoc.”

“I know who you are. We thought you were with the CIS.”

“I’m against the CIS,” I responded.

“So are we. We are the republic loyalists.”

“Good, then do you have a plan as to how to blow up that base?”

“No. But we have the courage.”

“Good; sometimes that’s all it takes.”

“I will prepare my men and yours, the sedative will wear off in a few minutes.”

“Thank you.”

Deadweight walked over to the cot, and he sat down in front of me, and he took my hand in his, “You okay tri’lek?”

“I’m fine… I was worried about you guys!” I hit him three times on the arm.

“Ahhh Welll…” he said, “I’m tough… You don’t have to worry about us.”

I hugged him. When I withdrew from the hug he smiled he leaned in and kissed me. I meeped.

“I’ll make sure the men are ready general,” he said.

I was so shocked I didn’t move.

If you’ll…Nevermind.

Hug and Kiss,
Erifia Apoc

Jabim: Part 5 (Erifia)

I cried. There is no shame in it. I used to think if people saw me cry I was weak. Not anymore. Now when I cry it’s a way for the universe to see I need help. Something to signal to other people I was in distress.

Through my tears I saw something in the nearby brush. It was a glimmer. When I ran up to it, it was a button. I wiped my tears away, and walked forward with my sabers held in my hand, and I saw another button.

These buttons were from the men’s jackets. I love those men! Those clones wouldn’t have thought to leave a trail of breadcrumbs. They would have tried to fight their way out, and probably died.

I became invisible as I moved, using the force to cloak my movements. As I went forward, I noticed a cave. It was guarded by two humans. Humans?

As I walked forward, they heard my feet in the soft ground and they looked, and lowered their blasters. Killing Droids I could do, but I couldn’t kill humans. I stopped, and I waited. When they stopped paying attention I force leapt into the air, and landed behind one, and became visible.

“You’re now supposed to be here!” he said.

“Your friend has betrayed you. He told me to come here.” I said waving my hand in front of his face.

“He what?!”

He turned on his friend and began firing. His friend dodged and fired back, and then they both fired and hit each other. I checked them. They stunned each other. Their blasters were set to stun?

Someone wants me.

I entered the cave, and once inside my eyes adjusted immeadiatly. It was dark, and there were doors. It was an underground complex. I went invisible, and I held tight to the wall, that way my shadow wouldn’t be on the wall.

There were plenty of humans. All of them dressed in white, and dressed for combat. I looked in the cells. Some of my men were there. They didn’t look harmed, but their shirts were hanging open.

There weapons were scattered about the complex. I moved forward, and once I turned a corner I saw a heat sensor droid, and it held its hand up, pointed at me, and let out this horrifying screech.

“Aeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeehhhhhhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii!”

If you’ll excuse me, I’ve got some men to save,

Mind tricks and guns,
Erifia Apoc.

Jabim: Part 4 (Erifia)

The information that I received with the rest of the men was such. The CIS held up in an Ex-GAR base. They infiltrated the armorary and have been upgrading their guns using GAR technology. Now this went from being a mission for revenge, to being a mission to stop any of this technology getting to the main CIS army.

The men had been out of practice for some time. When the news came, they all paused and looked at me.

“You know guys,” I said, “I usually run in and hope for the best. But I am not going to do that with you guys. I’ve got to plan. I’ve got to think.”

Deadweight said, “So you’ve got no plan.”

“Of course not!” I said, “I have a plan, I just, don’t know what it is right now. How many of you can use a sniper rifle?”

No-one raised their hand.

“Good… Good.”

I sat down and I thought deeply.

“I need to go… I need to scout ahead.”

To get there I had to travel over the muddy Jabim ground, and I found myself covered in the stuff. It was good though. It was an insulator and at the same time a camouflage. The base in question was in the disputed territory nearby.

It was in a valley. Normally this would be a disadvantage, however, in this valley the room was particularly strong and it blew the rain up over the hill instead of falling straight down. It stung my face. I grabbed a large leaf, and I held it so I could look down. The droids had the base surrounded. There were ground cannons, and there were droids on each of them.

There were two droids to each door, and there was a CIS Transport ship sitting on top of the armory. They also had five heat sensors surrounding it. Someone knew I was coming. I want to know who.

Whoever it was had three Magna Guards patrolling the base in non-delay intervals. My mind began to formulate something. Some plan. It would use the natural form of the valley against them.

I went back to the landing pad, covered in mud. There was fire everywhere and debris. I freaked. Tears fell down my eyes and I wailed. I began to run in search of the men. There were no corpses and that made me hopeful. I found several of their blasters laying around.

There was evidence of bombs. Thermals. But there would be ash of the men. I knelt down in the debris. I withdrew my sabers and held them. Not only did those bots take my men. They took my sniper rifle.

If you’ll excuse me, PAY! THEY WILL PAY!

Hugs and Kisses,
Erifia Apoc

Jabim: Part 3 (Erifia)

When we arrived on Jabim I let the men sleep. It took me awhile to find a way down through the thunderclouds. Once I did, I set the ship down, and I set my sniper rifle on the pilot’s chair and I took off my sabers, and grenades.

I opened the door and took a step into the cool rain of Jabim. There was nothing like the rain to make me feel good or bad, respectively. I stood in its cool sprinkle, and I began to dance back and fourth on the pad.

As the rain hit me and I spun it flew off my lekkus, and they wiggled with me. I did a hand stand and I felt my hands engulfed in the water and the puddles. My lekkus dragged along the ground to, but they wiggled like snakes.

I pushed off with my hand and jumped in the air, and I landed on my butt several feet from where I jumped. It hurt a little. I laughed. My laughter filled the air. I laid down in the rain.

I winced every time it hit me in the eye, but I kept looking up and opening my eyes anyway. My lekkus all wiggled about. I felt someone watching me, and I sat up. I looked around, and the last place I thought someone would be is watching me from the transport.

Someone was… The whole company. I sighed heavily.

Deadweight jumped down off the ship, and he walked over to me, and he offered me his hand. I took it, and he pulled me up to him. I didn’t understand. He touched my face gently, stroking my cheek.

“You’re…” he said, with a smile, “You’re Tri’lek.”

He laughed heavily, and grabbed me around my spine and spun me around in the air with glee. He began to laugh and all the men came from the transport and crowded around me. They began to all run their fingers along me, as if they were blind, and I was an old friend they could remember from when they could see.

Several of them were running their fingers up and down my lekkus. I jumped, and they backed off.

“You guys really don’t want to do that.”

Captain Jerin spoke up, “Well, Tri’lek. Welcome back.”

The men all began to clap. I looked confused.

“Thanks boys, but come on, you didn’t think I could let you boys stay guarding guns, not when there are droids to kill, right?”

They all held their arms in the air, and they cheered, “For the Republic!”

I held my hand in the air, “For the Republic!”

If you’ll excuse me, I need to go change these clothes, alone,

Hugs and Kisses,
Erifia Apoc

Jabim: Part 2 (Erifia)

I was getting a little tired too. I laid my head down and took a nap. When I woke up. There was noise coming from back by the men. I walked towards the back, and I opened the door.

The men were sitting there playing cards. I smiled when they tried to hide all the cards, and pretend their were credits on the table.

“Got room for one more?” I asked.

They all raised their eyebrow in unison, and stared at me.

“I take that as a no?”

They shook their heads yes.

“Yes no, or no no, or yes yes?”

Three of them nodded yes, and two of them shook their head no. I sat down at the table, and they pulled in their hands, and redealt and reanted. I placed in some credit-coins too. I held my hand close to me.

I had three queens and two kings. I smiled. When the bet came around to me, I threw in some money. Finally it came to call, and when they called me, I folded. The highest hand besides my folded one was a low straight.

I let him pull in his pot. I was a millionaire. I didn’t need their money. So for awhile I kept folding. They were very happy. Now after a bit, deadweight ran out of money, and he decided to watch me instead of losing money he didn’t have.

I pulled up the next hand, I held it up so he could see, and I squeezed the cards out. Three fives, and two sixes. I tossed in money. When it came to call me, I folded again. Deadweight’s jaw dropped. He still didn’t know who I was. I was a little sad.

The winner pulled in the pot. I sighed, “Sorry boys, I’m out of cash.”

I walked away from the table as they were getting their hands. I went into the pilot’s seat, and I propped my leg up and meant to fall asleep again.

“Hey, General,” Deadweight said, “Why’d you fold your hands like that?”

“Because, I’ve got lots of money. You guys don’t make much.”

“WHAT?! You threw those games?! Why would anyone purposely lose? You really are a stupid mid-blood.”

“I heard the men call you Deadweight. Why is that?”

“Nothing that I’m going to share with a mid-blood. You couldn’t understand.”

“Okay, hopefully I will change your mind.”

Deadweight walked out of the room.

If you’ll excuse me, I’m feeling a little hurt…

XoXoXo,
Erifia Apoc

Jabim: Part 1 (Erifia)

I looked at the battlefield. It was Jabim. The casualties on the GAR side had alerted my attention. There was an old friend of mine from the temple among them. He was a simple jedi, a bothan. He was a good man in his older age.

I was called, is what I meant by alerted. See the force told me my bothan friend was dead. But it didn’t tell me where. The council in association with the GAR decided to send me into combat.

I told them, most defiantly, that I would go, but I would not lead clones into combat. I wanted the soldiers of The 32nd division. When I told them that, they called the GAR and the GAR laughed.

The 32nd division had been assigned to guarding the small armory on Coruscant; That they would be worthless to me in combat. I told them, if they didn’t get me the 32nd division, that I wouldn’t go.

Droids had been programmed to regroup when they see me in combat. Its not because I am a great strategist. Its because I have a high count of bodies, and they realized that with a regroup, they stood a chance.

They assigned me a transport class ship, and they said the men would arrive within the hour. I went to my room to get ready. I grabbed my old sniper rifle out from under my bed and I wiped the dust off of it.

I smiled. I had my sabers strapped on tight, and I made sure to grab a couple of my other items. A pair of thermals. I had some present for these droids.

I waited outside the temple, and when they arrive I noticed how old they actually were compared to me. They were still in great shape, but they were older.

Deadweight, one of the men who I trained with so long ago, spoke, “I wonder what bloody Mid-Blood they got leading us. Not that I am upset we got a mid-blood leader, I just am glad to get out of that bloody armory.”

I stood there, he didn’t realize I was there, and he kept talking while the guys were all making uncomfortable noises and pointing at me.

“What don’t tell me the Mid-Blood’s standing there, I mean honestly, you can’t trust them with much of anything. They think we are beneath them…”

I ahemed, loudly, he turned, “I mean of course… I… I say Mid-Blood with the highest of respect for you. Its just Jedi is just so common to say.”

“Okay,” I said not letting on as to who I was, “I was told this company is made up of sixty men.”

“Uhm,” said who I knew was Private Jerin, he was now a Captain, “Yes, General.”

“You must be Captain Jerin. I was told you were the leader of these men. I want you to know I am not taking your command away from you. I understand that you men are most likely creatures of habit. I want you to know I respect you men.”

Deadweight spoke up, “Respect us enough to pick us to die over the Clonies?”

“Respect you enough to know that you won’t die.”

He piped down, “I would like you men to be rested, as much as you can for when we arrive on Jabin. I will fly the ship there.”

They nodded, and closed the blast hatches, and sealed them up, and I jumped up into the pilot’s seat, sending the private driving into the back.

If you’ll excuse me, it’s a long road to Jabim,

Hugs and kisses,
Erifia Apoc

Who sent me that dress? (With posts from you!)

Someone had sent me a dress, and now it was time to find out who. I wore this wonderful amazing dress… I cannot even begin to describe how silky, how soft, how fitting… This dress was perhaps the best piece of clothing I own, and I plan on wearing it a lot more.



I had no leads so I decided to go to anyone who I had seen in the past couple days and had been acting weird. The first on my list was Jedi Phobia. I was recently at her 50 something or the other party. I was late, and I stayed quiet and I didn’t make myself as well known as I could have.

I wished her a happy 50th whatever it was. But she was acting strange at the party. Naturally she’s the one who got the dress for me.

I knocked on her door, she answered, “Something wrong Erifia?”

I stormed in, “Well I guess you can tall me that.”

“What are you talking about?” she asked.

“The dress! I know you sent it!”

She held on the doorframe as if she was guilty and didn’t want to tell me so, “Look,” she said firmly, “I have no clue what you are talking about, but I did not send you that dress!”

“Oh really?” I inquired, “It seems like something you would pick out… But I have to ask, how did you know my dress size?”

“Look,” she said in a demeaning tone, “Believe whatever you want, I didn’t send you that dress, and I would really appreciate it if you’d go hunt elsewhere… I would love to stand here and chat, by my stomach is about to come back up at any second.”

She was green in the face, and she ran towards the bathroom.

I sighed heavily, that got me nowhere. I decided that it would be best to question the Chosen one, who Chose a great dress for me! I went seeking for him, and I found him trying to sneak out of the temple.

I backed Ani into a corner. I jumped from the dark wearing my brand new wonderful dress.

“Whoa!” He tried not to yell, “Never sneak up on a man trying to sneak somewhere!”

“You like the adrenaline rush, Ani,” I said making myself fully visible.

He raised his eyebrow, “What are you wearing?”

“You know!” I said, “You sent it to me!”

He looked confused, good act, “I sent that? Funny I don’t remember doing that.”

“But you did,” I responded.

“Have you forgot about,” he mouthed the word ‘Padme’, “ I don’t think she’ll like me sending dresses to other ladies.”

“Awww…” I said, “You called me a lady… You sure it wasn’t you, Ani? It’s your style.”

He smiled, “My style?” He giggled, “I don’t wear dresses, E to the A, my butt looks fat in them.”

I laughed, “Funny, very funny… Are you sure it wasn’t you?”

He gave me an undeniable look of honestly, “No, I didn’t but whoever did picked the perfect dress for you.”

“Cute and charming, lucky you know who…” I kissed his cheek, and vanished back into the shadows.

I still had another stop to make. Obi-Wan had been acting standoffish from me. I think maybe he was finally starting to become attracted to me.

“It was you!” I screamed at him, “Wasn’t it?!” I said as I saw him and I got up close to him.

“It was me, what?” He asked.

“This dress! You sent it to me, didn’t you?” I responded.

“Why would I do this?” He asked stepping back from me.

"You always want me to cover up, Obi-Wan. This does cover most of me, and I know you well enough to know you never send me something that covered me up completely because you know I would NEVER wear it but you would by me something that would cover most of me knowing I would wear it." I said firmly, pushing out my chest, letting him see my full body.

“Why would I send you a dress?”

“That’s the question isn’t it, Obi-Wan? Why would you?” I said with anger.

“I just asked you that!” He said frusterated.

“Well, if I knew that I wouldn’t be here asking you!”

He shook his head, “I did not send you the dress.”

“I think you did, I think you saw it and wanted to see how I would look in it,” I smiled at him, and held my hand underneath my lekkus, and wrapped my arm around my back greatly accentuating my chest, “Do you like?”

He looked away, “It’s very nice.”

“Nice?” I asked keenly, “Its beautiful! Look at it! Say it, Obi-Wan… B.E.A.U.T.I.F.U.L.”

“You hardly need to spell it, Erifia.”

“Say it! Be a man! Say it!”

“He threw up his arms! “All right! It’s Beautiful! You looke Beautiful in it! Are you happy?”

“Yup,” I responded with a bright smile and I kissed his cheek.

Okay, so it wasn’t Obi-Wan…

I also checked with Jon, Intergalatic Gladiator, Private Hudson, Captain Jean Luc Picard, Professor X, or D'Ice.

And it wasn’t the obvious, Obi-Wan, Ani, or Phobia.

I finally gave up. I moped into the kitchen, and I sat down at the table. I laid my head on the table.

“I just wanted to thank them… This was the nicest gift I ever have received.”

Tears filled my eyes, and I sobbed softly, “Hey Effie,” said a familiar voice. I heard a plate hit the table, and I looked up. NandeHi was standing there, she set a plate of coconut cream pie on the table. My favorite…

She set a glass of milk down next to it, and I looked up.

“Now what’s got you so worked up, Effie? I haven’t seen you cry for a long time.”

I wiped away my tears and I smiled, “Thank you Momma Nan.”

I picked up a fork and I began to eat the pie.

“You’re dodging the question, Effie… Don’t make me get a wooden spoon.”

I laughed at myself, “I’m just a silly, stupid girl, that’s why I’m crying…”

“Tell me…”

“This dress, this magnificent, wonderful, amazing, sweet, silky, smooth, beautiful, stunning, astounding, accentuating, curve-enhancing, cool, dress.”

“It looks good on you.”

“Thanks… I went trying to find who sent it to me…”

“Eat your favorite,” Nan said to me, “It’ll make you feel better.”

I got another fork full, and shoveled it into my mouth, it was so wonderful, it was nice and cool.

“Let me make you a sandwich, you look thin…”

I sighed heavily, “Momma Nan…”

“You’ll eat you desert, eat this sandwich, then eat another slice of pie.”

“Nan…”

“I’ll get the wooden spoon.”

“Yes mam,” I said.

I ate the pie, she set a sandwich in front of me. She was talking about the padawans, and the knights, and the younglings, and everyone in the temple. It was good to spend time with her, I don’t often have time to spend at the temple with Momma Nan.

After I finished the pie, I drank the glass of milk. I sighed, my belly was sticking out in the dress. I sighed, and she smacked my hand with the wooden spoon.

“That’s you problem Effie, you don’t eat enough. You better start eating more, or I’ll come after you.”

“How do you know I haven’t been eating enough?”

“Your dress size is the same as when you were eighteen.”

I dropped my fork and looked at her, “You mean…”

“Yeah, I made you the dress Effie… I figured you’re always trying to catch Obi’s eye, that dress would do it.”

My hands shook with excitement, I leapt from the table and jumped onto her, and I hugged her tightly to me. “Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank-you, thank-you, thank-you, thank-you, thank-you, thank-you, thank-you, thank-you, thank-you, thankyou, thankyou, thankyou, thankyou, thankyou, thankyou, thankyou!”

She laughed, “Did it work?”

“Yes, he said I was beautiful…”

“Good,” she said pushing me away gently to pinch my cheek, “He needs a good woman, you need a man… Maybe one day…”

I kissed her cheek, “Thank you so much Momma Nan…”

“You can thank me by eating more, and eating in my kitchen more, late at night so we can talk.”

“Yes, I will, sorry…”

She hugged me and said, “Now go, you’ve been wearing that since you got it, two days ago, go wash it, wash yourself, be sure to clean under those lekkus.”

“Yes mam!”

If you’ll excuse me, I have orders to follow,

Hugs and kisses, (for Nan!)
Erifia Apoc

Strange New Outfit - Outside Participation (Erifia)

I was organizing my ship, and I found a box, it was unopened and sent to me through the mail. There was no name on the package.

Whoever it was knew my size. I’d like to think that someone doesn’t know me so well that they can determine my dress-size, buy a package for me and leave it on my ship during the time in which I am gone.

I scanned it for any traps, tricks or trackers. None. Whoever it was, was being sincere…

I had Becca take a black and white holo-photo of it.



Someone wanted me to have it… I couldn’t even begin to guess who. D’Ice when he was around always left his name. Captain Typho has Jardena, unless he brokeup with her, and was desperate. Obi-Wan would never get me anything like this.

I loved the feel of it against my body. It was so soft, and so silky. I couldn’t help but leave it on.

If you’ll excuse me, I’ve got to investigate this a little further…

Hugs and Kisses,
Erifia Apoc

PS. If you sent this outfit to me, then contact me Via E-mail. “erifiaapoc@gmail.com”

(I'll write a big post going through everyone who 'could have' sent me this outfit. Send me an e-mail, with a point of view with Erifia grilling you on whether you got her this outfit or not, and pick a number 1-100 whoever gets closest, Erifia will find some clue proving it was you. Just for fun.)

Development of a Philosophy: Final Part (Leuba Sapphire)

I arrived back the complex, and I held my large, long sniper rifle in one hand, and I held the yellow saber in the other. The Stormtroopers who were standing duty knew the object in my left hand and they fired, and I responded by firing the sniper rifle, and striking one in the head, and then I buried my saber in the other.

I cut open the door with my saber, and I saw two Stormtroopers walking, and I fired at one, and threw my saber at the other. Both dropped and as my saber came back at me, I ducked and it struck another coming down the hall.

I caught it on its way back, and continued on my war-path. The next two Stormtrooper began to fire, and I used the saber to deflect their beams back at them, and then they fell.

Two imperial engineers walked out, and I used the saber to cut into them, and then the two troopers who heard the familiar hum of a saber, and I cut into them.

I hit the alarm button, and I set my sniper rifle down, and I held the single saber ready. I backed into a room, and then I waited. As the stormtroopers came running, I hid behind a box of some sort, and a line of them came in.

I threw my saber and it cut through most of them. I ran back out of the room and grabbed my sniper rifle, and ran forward. Up the stairwell and on the next floor. Once I was there I fired my sniper rifle and struck a Stormtrooper in the back, and then I used the saber to cut into the next one.

The next Stormtrooper threw a gernade. The explosion that resulted threw me back to the stairs, and down to the first landing. Another one came down the stairwell, and I threw it back. When it connected with the wall it sent fire everywhere. I ran through the debris and threw my saber down the hall and fired at a couple of their heads.

I went into the next room, and found the Imperial Officer, he was about ready to call for help. I grabbed him by the neck, and spoke, “You have ten seconds before my saber comes back, call all the troopers for an inspection in the town square or I will let it hit you.”

He hit the intercom button, “Troopers to the town square, now,” he ordered, he released the button, “Now let me live.”

“Who ordered the destruction of the Tusken?”

“Me.”

The saber decapitated him, and I grabbed his thermal detonator, and I waited three minutes. Then I ran towards town square, and I activated it, and counted down from 10, once it was at 3, I tossed it into the group of troopers.

By the time they realized what it was, the Thermal went off, and I heard their screams. I knew they had heard the screams of the Tusken when they were ordered to kill them.

I walked to the crater where they all used to be, and I spat.

When I was a child, I valued life above all things. Even above my own safety. I didn’t understand my devotion to such a frail thing of life. When I was a young woman, I dare not kill anyone, because I respected the fragility of life.

Now that I am older, and I have witnessed the senseless destruction of people who didn’t deserve it from the hands of these clones; I realized that the only way I could protect life was to take it.

It didn’t matter how much life I had to destroy to protect an innocent from the hands of these monsters, but I would kill them, again and again.

Those Tusken never did anything to deserve death, and neither did anyone on Coruscant when these monsters decided that it was time to kill everyone. I always knew why I preferred the regulars in the GAR, because those regulars now fight for the rebellion.

Death to protect the Innocent. Now, and forevermore.

If you’ll excuse me, I have to inform the Life Bearers that its time to take over,

Deadly hugs, and Black-Widow Kisses,
Leuba Sapphire

Development of a Philosophy: Part 5 (Leuba Sapphire)

I had two men with me. They had been ‘assigned’ to me. They were rebellion soldiers. I knew their names, and they were important to me. But I knew I couldn’t get attached to them. They treated me with respect because of how I treated them, with the utmost respect someone can have for another.

The Rebellion did not often openly claim me as its associate. They knew I had stolen the Death Star plans from Sidious when he was still called Palpatine. They knew I had made the copy that they received. They also knew I was alive.

The only time they claimed me was when they assigned me an important mission. They knew I was force-sensitive. They knew I had been trained, but they knew very little about my real name, or who I was.

The two men with me were called Life-Bearers, and their job was to do anything they could to make sure I survived. I tried telling them, countless times to get away from me; to go home to their families or go back into the service and assist in the destruction of the Empire.

They refused every time. To them my life was more important than their own. I did not understand. I was not that important of a person. But still they followed me. I was sent to Tatooine, and it was my job to liberate a scientific colony. They chose me to do this because I’ve been there before, countless times.

The men landed, and instead of the Mayor of the colony I was greeted by a Imperial Officer, “Landing Clearances,” he stated plainly.

“I’ve none,” I responded.

“Then take this ship out of here.”

“No, it wouldn’t make sense, don’t you agree?” I spoke firmly, using the mind tricks I so often had to use nowadays.

“Correct, Madame,” he said, “I see the logic now. Is there anything you require?”

“No, I am just here for a short visit,” I responded.

“Very well, I assume you’ll stay on your ship.”

“Correct.”

He walked away. Before I was going to assault anything, I was going to go visit an old friend’s son. I walked through the base unquestioned. When I arrived on the outside, I saw speeders, and I took off towards the cliffs with one of them.

I saw the tiny cave, and my cold, war-hardened face softened and I smiled. I crawled down into them, and my eyes adjusted to the light. I was not greeted by the two guards. I walked down deeper into the cave.

I smelled decay. I ran the rest of the way, and when I arrived at the bottom, the dwellings had all be ransacked and destroyed, and there were corpses of Tusken laying all around.

I went to My Old Friend Son’s house, and it was empty save for him laying dead at the door, and his wife laying in beyond that. His wife was laying dead beyond that. He died for her.

I clenched my fists, and I felt my nails pierce my flesh. I ran to the small hut, and it had been ransacked as well. I lifted the rug, and then lifted the small piece of wood. I grabbed a light saber from underneath it.

I lit it up, it was glowing bright yellow. Someone was going to pay for this. I strapped the yellow saber at my side, and I cocked and loaded my gun.

Someone was going to pay.

If you’ll excuse me, I know who is going to pay,

Mourned Hugs and Mourning Kisses,
Leuba Sapphire

Development of a Philosophy: Part 4 (Erifia Apoc)

Tusken children ran by me, they were playing with refuse dolls, and they were so happy, they were laughing (or the tusken equivalent) and I knew how old they were, not old at all, probably around eight.

I pulled my knees up close to me and I sobbed in them.

Those children wouldn’t exist; none of them, if I had pulled the trigger so long ago. If I had followed the Jedi-Code then this whole colony would have died. I didn’t understand. I was right, but no-one believed me. The code needs to be changed.

I could never convince anyone of that. Obi-Wan was in shock when I told him I was going to change it. The council would never hear of it. Jedi tradition is wrong. It all needed to be changed.

I began to vocalize my sorrow, and it wasn’t even like I meant to, it just was so upsetting that these people were held in the palm of my hand, and if I had followed orders they would all be dead.

A young tusken girl walked up to me, very confused as to what I was, and wondering if I would hurt her, but she came up to me anyway, and she knelt down next to me, and she offered me her dolly. The one toy she probably owns and she offered it to me.

I turned to her, tears streaking down my face, and she pushed it towards me. I smiled at her, as best I could, and I gently picked up the dolly and held it tight to me, squeezing it.

I nodded to her, I know she didn’t know common and I couldn’t speak Tusken, just understand it, I held my hand on my heart, and I handed the doll back to her. She moved forward and she wrapped one arm around me, and hugged me softly, afraid of me.

I slowly moved my hand, and squeezed hers softly. She pantomimed wiping her eyes, and she pointed at me. I nodded and forced a smile. She didn’t know she had just made me want to cry so much more.

I curled up into the fetal position and hid my sobs and my face from the world around me. These people were simple, and misunderstood, and I was going to kill them because of the code.

I heard from behind, “The Young don’t realize what you have done for this colony, Moon-Ray.”

I turned up to him, and I nodded, “I don’t want them to.”

He spoke again, “But I do, and I cannot offer the Sun to repay you.”

“I wouldn’t ask you to.”

“Even if I want to?”

“Even if you want to.”

He spoke again, “Can I offer you my son?”

“NO!” I said quicker and harsher then I intended, “Never… Please don’t say that again. You should enjoy every moment of that child.”

“What about the tiny sun?”

I didn’t know what he was talking about. He took me towards a small hut, and he opened the door, and he opened a bantha-hide bag, and he withdrew yellow-saber-refracting-crystals and I looked at him, “I cannot, I mean… If I accept these…”

“They mean nothing to us, they are not water, they are not sun, they are not clay, they are nothing.”

I nodded, and he put them back in the bag, and handed it to me. I knelt before him, and he bid me rise, “Moon-Ray, is your faith restored?”

“I hope so, I will be back, soon… I will have something I need you to keep here.”

If you’ll excuse me, I need to go back to Coruscant, I have something I need to make,

Hugs and Kisses,
Erifia Apoc

Development of a Philosophy: Part 3 (Erifia Apoc)

I’ve never killed anyone. I want everyone who reads these journals to know that. Not once in my life have I killed a sentient being. I think I shocked Obi-Wan when I told him that. Now, I will not deny my killing of droids, which I believe is very different then killing a sentient being.

However, I will also admit to killing animals and beasts which are sentient, but never a true sentient being, not even Genosians when they attack me. I usually cripple them, and leave them. I’ll cut off their wings, and arms. But leave them be. As inhumane as that sounds.

I have never enjoyed the code, not for a long, long time. I find it in bad taste. But one part of the code I uphold is the ‘No Killing’ rule. We Jedi are meant to uphold life, and not destroy it.

I don’t tell many people I’ve never killed anyone before, I make it seem as though I had. But I never really have. Even after the whole Dante hiring me and then Blurnsball, Duck and Lollypop beat on me, I didn’t kill them. I hurt them, badly, yes, but I didn’t kill them.

I decided, after my last encounter with my darker half that I needed to refirm that belief, and the only place I can do that is Tatooine, deep in a canyon.

I left Becca and Tatooine (The Tauntaun) on Coruscant and I headed for Tatooine (the planet) and I landed on an old heli-pad. There was a colony here, a large one, it prospered because of the scientists working on new technology for the GAR here.

When I landed I was greeted, and my ship was flown to a parking lot of sorts. The greeter took me down and led me to the outside of the colony, he knew I wanted to go there, and he gave me a speeder. They treated me like a queen because I often donated a small sum of (around $3,000) credits a year.

It may not seem like much, but I am the only one who contributes. I flew hard on the speeder and I rushed towards the canyon. Once I arrived at the canyon, I slowed down on the speeder, and I parked it, and headed towards a small cave.

I crawled through the entrance, and I was met by a pair of Tusken, holding guns at my head, I held my arms above my head, and they lead my downwards after stripping my lekkus of all their weapons.

The cave was dark, and lit only by small LCD lights (not that I needed them). They knew the way, and soon, I was down in the colony. I was lead to the hut with a different color clay used, and the two tusken opened the door and pushed me in. Once inside I knelt down.

A tusken man smiled, and he knelt down next to me, he began to speak, I understood him, it took me a long time to learn the Tusken langauge, but I had to.

“Sunny Day to you Moon-Ray,” he said. He calls me moon ray because my color reminds him of his skin in the moonlight.

“Hello old friend,” I said with a soft smile.

“What clouds cover the sun in your world?” He asked.

“Is it that obvious?” I asked.

“As clear as the three suns,” he said.

“I’m sorry, old friend, I’m not feeling very faithful.”

“I want to show you something, Moon-Ray,” he said.

I rose slowly, he rose and led me into the backroom. There was a tusken female laying on a bed, and she cradled a child in her arms, “That’s my new son,” he said.

I knelt down next to the mother and the child. She looked at me, and the baby was asleep. I looked at the mother and asked permission to touch her child. She nodded and I touched the child’s cheek gently.

It cooed, in its own tusken way. I withdrew my hand. I was sure there were tears rolling down my cheek because I felt them in my eyes. I turned from them, most abruptly. I walked away, and the Tusken Chieftan grabbed my arm, not forcefully or angerly, “Moon-Ray?” He asked.

I shook my head no, and I went outside of his hut.

I couldn’t go back in…

If you’ll excuse me, I have to cry…

Sobbing Hugs, and Submissive Kisses,
Erifia Apoc

Development of a Philosophy: Part 2 (Padawan Erifia)

The sandy desert of Tatooine blew around me. It was hot on top of the building, but I found solace in my cloak. What little solace there was to be had.

I had to kill people. It was against the code. It was against the force’s will. Master Gerith didn’t even consider speaking with the Tusken. He immediately went to combat. Jedi were supposed to do everything they could before drawing a saber.

I held my scope watching the pass. I could see it as clear as if I was standing there. I had to do what my master told me to. Even if it went against the code, and… I don’t understand. Why?

I looked down at Master Gerith as he was watching ahead. He looked up to me. We met eyes, and stared at each other for a second. It was an awkward staring. I felt ashamed to be with him.

I brought my attention back to the scopes and I saw the first signs of Tusken. A scout; if I shot him this would all go wrong. He took off the other way, and in a half hour a patrol of them came from the pass.

I watched them in my scope. I had to wait for them to get further away from the pass. They could run and hide if they knew we were there. I looked down to Master Gerith, he looked up to me.

He knew they were there. He wanted me to shoot them. He wanted me to kill them. From what the Mayor said, the Tusken just took technology and knocked anyone who got in their way out. None of them killed anyone.

Stealing shouldn’t be a crime punishable by death. I brought my head back around and looked at them. They were coming. Not knowing what was going to meet them when they came into town.

The closer they got the more I didn’t want to hurt them. I looked down at Master Gerith again, he blinked when he noticed me looking at him and he turned down, looking ahead. He was angry with me.

I pulled away from my gun. I wasn’t going to shoot them. I grabbed it off the roof, and snuck down the ladder, he noticed I was standing there, and not in the spot he had designated for me to be. The code said for me to obey my master, the code said not to kill people. What happens when one and the other disagree?

It was up to me. When the code is wrong, it is my choice. If I get kicked out of the temple, then I get kicked out of the temple. I couldn’t stand by and watch the code contradict itself.

The Tusken came forward, I watched them come closer and closer, and they all held their guns ready when they saw Master Gerith. They began to speak in their language. The closer they got the tenser Master Gerith became, he looked over at me. Pleading for me to shoot them.

They looked at me. Then back to him. He didn’t move as they moved towards him, they struck the side of his head and he fell down. I grabbed my saber, and I held it, not letting it extend, they came towards me.

“Please!” I said, “Please… I don’t want to hurt you. The town just wants you to leave them alone. They don’t hurt you, why steal from them? Don’t you have everything you need out there?”

The leader bean to hoop and holler. I didn’t know what he was saying, but I felt scared, and I began to shake. He struck one of the ones with him, and the rest backed away from me. He knelt down to me, and I jumped.

“Please,” I said, “Don’t attack the town anymore. I don’t want to hurt you…” I said tears streaking down my eyes.

He spoke in the Tusken Langauge. I didn’t understand what he was saying, “I can’t understand,” I said, “Can you understand me?” I asked.

He nodded, “Will you please stop stealing from the town, they wanted me to hurt you, and you didn’t do anything wrong, you just needed some things?” He nodded.

I gently reached outwards, my hand hoping to meet his in some peace pact. His met mine and we shook. I knew they weren’t bad. I knew it. He roared and hooted, and the tusken people all rushed away. I ran to Master Gerith.

I dropped to my knees, and I cradled his head in my arms. He spoke, and it scared me so I jumped, “Erifia, what have you learned?”

I bit my lips, I was so scared, so shaken, so sad, and so upset, it wasn’t clear to me what I learned. All that was clear was the tears rolling down my cheek.

“Erifia, focus, let those emotions free…”

I leapt onto him, and laid on him, my sobs absorbed by his neck. I squeezed his shirt, and the muscles in my hand began to become sore from the anger, and my whole body shook in fear.

“Erifia, let it all out…”

I did.

“Now, Erifia, tell me, what did you learn?”

“That the code needs to be broken to uphold itself. That the code is just a set of rules that sometimes need to be broken to achieve the greater good.”

“Never forget that,” he said.

I nodded weakly into his shoulder.

If you’ll excuse me, I need a hug,

Please give me a hug,
Erifia Apoc